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Friendly Suggestions
from DJ Cosine

By Cheston

We, the members of the upper division demand more discretion, on the part of the faculty, with respect to disciplinary action, and an immediate change in our treatment as students of this school. Unsatisfied with the situation at present, we feel the need to make our requests known to the administration at once. We request:

1. A reasonable amount of time after homeroom has ended in which to arrive at school, many people arrive late because of their rides, and only those arriving late both regularly and as a result of general apathy should be punished.

2. That the punishment fit the crime. It is unreasonable to give the same hour-long detention to two offenders, who have committed offenses of widely varying degree, as is often the case.

3. More compassionate and understanding feedback from teachers. Overworked, and sleep-deprived, we feel our efforts often go unnoticed, and unappreciated.

4. Couches in all classrooms in order to create a less confining space, more conducive to learning.

5. Nap time between 1:00 pm and 2:30 pm, at least two days a week. Restless Abbey Boys are bad Abbey Boys.

6. That all members of the faculty read or reread a copy of Crime and Punishment before giving another detention notice.

7. Student clearance, before any faculty member wishes to discuss anything with a student's parents.

8. Student-teacher grade coordination, we feel this is a more accurate and people-friendly approach.

9. That you stop reading this and comply with the eight demands listed above.

Copyright 2002, FakturyFresh